Introversion Extroversion or Both in which I get my geek on

Before I launch into today's festival of nerdishness, I'd like to:

1. Thank all the individuals, past and present, who have served in the United States military, and on this day, remember and honor those who gave their lives in the service of this country. Amidst the barbeque and the giddiness over the beginning of the summer season, let's take some time to remember the reason this day is a holiday.
2. Thank each of you. Saturday was my six-month blogoversary, and since the end of last November, nearly 300 of you have become followers of this blog. I'm really touched by all your comments and participation, and I'll keep working hard to make The Strangest Situation worth your time.

NOW: Introversion vs. Extroversion.

On Friday, I asked you if you were one or the other or both. A significant majority of you (24 out of 37, or 65%), indicated you were introverts. Many of you used phrases like "100%" or "hands down", indicating you're quite definitely introverted. Several of you referenced your Myers-Briggs Type (I have GOT to do a post on that thing, and I will sometime this summer)--and they all started with "I".

Now, this shouldn't be surprising, right? Most of us are writers. And ... generally, writing is a pursuit that includes a lot of activity between the ears. Yes, to be good, you've got to get out of your own head and get others involved, but a lot of the process is solitary. In other words, we are NOT a randomly selected sample. If you polled individuals in the House of Representatives or actors on Broadway, you'd probably get a different result.

If any of you are wondering, yes, I am most definitely an introvert. When I was in college, I took Personality Psychology, and the professor handed out personality inventory results for the entire class (we'd all been assigned numbers, so no one was publicly outed or anything). But my number ... was on the extreme end of the continuum. According to that test, I was the most introverted person in that class of 40 people.

That doesn't mean I'm not socially skilled or don't enjoy being with other people. I do. I'm also quite a good public speaker, and I actually enjoy that kind of thing as long as I know what I'm talking about. However--I dislike parties and crowds. They wear me out quickly. I am easily overwhelmed by both the social expectations and the sensory stimulation. And in general, I am happiest when I have A LOT of alone time.

Many of you said very similar things. Quite a few of you were asking questions or stating you had tendencies toward both extraversion and introversion. In other words, you were saying you didn't fall neatly into either category. A lot of you were really trying to puzzle out "which one" you were--introvert or extrovert.

Now--if you are to believe a lot of these "personality type" tests, personality traits would be distributed like this:

This is a cute little bimodal distribution.

If this was the reality, most people fall into one category or another, and only a few people would fall in between. But is that the way things are?

No. Here's the way things are:

Personality traits like introversion-extroversion are normally distributed. MOST people fall somewhere in the middle (about 68%). In other words, if you randomly selected a hundred people from the general population and gave them a test that measured introversion-extroversion, only a few would come out as extremely introverted or extroverted.

Admittedly, if you take our little sample, our curve would probably look more like this:

This is an adorable positively skewed distribution.

As a group, we are probably more introverted than the general population. Even so, most of us will have scores that fall somewhere in between. We're not one or the other!

We're on a continuum.

 So! Don't feel bad if you couldn't figure out what type you are, or if you felt like you had qualities of both, or if you are an introvert in some situations/moods and not in others. I'm quite sure you're right. And if you think about this as a continuum, it might make it easier.

On Wednesday, I'll talk more about introversion-extroversion as it relates to social media.  But for today--does this make sense? Are you more comfortable thinking about introversion-extroversion (or any persoanlity trait) as a continuum rather than a category you have to fall into? Or do you feel more comfortable as a "type"?

Introversion Extroversion and Social Media

Thanks to all of you who commented last Friday and this past Monday (on Memorial Day! You guys are dedicated and AWESOME). As writers, it seems like we're mostly an introverted bunch, but there are definitely a few extroverts and ambiverts (folks who are pretty much in the middle) here.

A few of you mentioned having had to face the whole "extroverted is better" thing, and that's definitely out there--in fact, in some diagnostic systems, introversion is considered a symptom of a disorder. There are plenty of folks who heartily disagree with that view, though, and there's even a book about it. Research shows extroverts do tend to be happier, but it also demonstrates that happiness is not the number one goal in life for introverts. Introverts brains are more active than those of extraverts, and this may be why more introverted individuals choose to spend more time alone than with others.

What a bunch of wallflowers we are.

Also--introversion is not shyness or social anxiety. These concepts overlap, but there are some key differences. Socially anxious folks will avoid parties because they are nervous about doing or saying something stupid. Shy folks might avoid those situations because they're nervous about having to introduce themselves or about ending up with no one to talk to. Introverted folks will avoid parties because they would simply rather be alone. Introverts can absolutely function socially and many of us don't really have a problem with it.

Now--what about social media? If you Google "introversion [or extroversion] and social media", you will find all sorts of conflicting opinions about who's using it and how well they're doing it. When I see that kind of thing, I head straight for the research.

What the research says: extroverts tend to use social media more than introverts.

That certainly makes sense to me. Extroverts crave social contact more than introverts, so when given another outlet for that kind of thing, they'd use it. Introverts have less need for that kind of contact, so they might not reach out.

However, I found some other stuff, too. I found (unscientific) polls indicating that a huge amount of social media users consider themselves introverted. I found several articles citing anecdotal evidence about introverts making great use of social media to measure and control their social contact--in other words, social media is a way for them to get their socializing done in manageable doses that don't overwhelm or irritate.

My agent
IS. Adorable.

Now, if you recall, I said I was pretty introverted. I actually didn't use social media at all until I was agented. However, I intentionally chose an agent who is extremely knowledgeable about social media so she could guide me in how to build an online presence. Interestingly, I asked Kathleen about this, and she said she's on the introverted side of the continuum despite her fabulous online presence as @KOrtizzle. She loves communicating with people online and in person--but absolutely needs her solitary time to charge up.

I had a few reasons for being invisible on the internet--first, I'm a psychologist and I do have clients, and there's a boundary issue there (would anybody be interested in hearing more about those issues in the future? I don't know how interesting that kind of thing is for people). But second, I just ... didn't see the need. I still don't do Facebook at all. I have my blog now, as well as a Twitter account. I've found a lot of joy and fulfillment in making contact with people through these avenues, and I love being a part of this community. For a group that tends toward introversion, we writers certainly do have a fun time, don't we?

I do find myself getting overwhelmed sometimes, though. I'm not a voluble Tweeter, and I often find myself watching more than I participate, which is just fine with me. I'm a lurker. And, unlike in-person situations, when I lurk online, no one really knows I'm there. Sometimes I like that. Sometimes I don't, and then I have to try to reach out--because otherwise, I'm totally invisible to people!

So--how about you? Are you more likely to socialize if there's a screen between you and other people? Are you on the reserved side, even as a social media user? Do you have an outgoing persona, or do your introverted/extroverted tendencies carry over to your online behaviors? Do you lurk, like me, or are you out there and involved? Has social media replaced any of your in-person relationships? Does it fill the same need? And do you get overwhelmed and turn it off sometimes--or not?

Also, it's Wednesday, and that means Sisterhood of the Traveling Blog! Check out Laura's blog (she's also an introvert, by the way), where she'll answer this month's question: How would you personify your muse?