Cyberbullying Same dog new tricks more devastation

Nearly every teen in the US has access to the Internet. In 2009, 93% of teens were online in some form or other. Three-quarters of online teens used social-networking sites. And 75% had a cell phone. That was two years ago.

Kids are wired up and ready to go.

And just like at school, on the bus, in the malls, wherever they are ... kids sometimes bully and get bullied in cyberspace. A recent study of thousands of teenagers in the southern US indicated that about 20% of them reported having been cyberbullied. And 20% of them admitted to having engaged in that behavior, which was defined in that study as "repeatedly making fun of another person online or repeatedly picking on another person through email or text message, or when someone posts something online about another person that they don’t like.”

Common venues for cyberbullying: Facebook. Youtube. Instant Messaging. Texts. And social gaming sites. Yes, kids are getting bullied in the 3-D worlds on their portable gaming devices.

Just like in-person bullying, there are some gender differences. Girls, who, at this point, are far more likely to report being cyberbullied than boys, are more likely to cyberbully through spreading rumors. Boys are more likely to cyberbully by posting hurtful pics or videos.

Like so many of the rest of us, teens are vulnerable to online disinhibition. In other words, with the screen in front of you, unable to see the face of your victim, it's easier to sling words that hurt. Some kids might not even be aware of the damage they're doing.

Unfortunately, because it's online, those careless words can go viral instantaneously.

So you have sharper cruelty spreading faster. Nonstop. 24/7. Kids don't have to wait to get to school--the hurt might be sitting in their inbox.

If you'd like an awesome, awesome resource for research-based information and practically useful resources, check out the Cyberbullying Research Center. Those folks are on top of it.

Like in-person bullying, culture counts. If kids live in a culture that brushes off or condones this type of online/texting behavior, they're not going to see anything wrong with it. One of the trickier things about cyberbullying is that parents often feel outmatched by their teens--they don't know as much about the technology as the kid does. Here's where open conversations AND parental controls are necessary.

As an aside, did you know the most effective therapies for kids' delinquent behavior involve working with their parents to have decent relationships with them AND exert their parental control? Yes. It works, technology or no technology.

A lot of you are teachers--what are you seeing in schools? And many of you are parents--have your kids had experiences with cyberbullies? And is there a published YA book on this topic? There must be.

On the Sisterhood of the Traveling Blog front, check out Lydia's post on what she always/never does as a writer.

Why anxiety disorders strike more women than men

This article describes a recent study of why anxiety disorders strike twice as many women as men:

Clinical psychologist Dr Kim Felmingham, of the University of Tasmania, and colleagues, report their finding in a recent issue of the journal Biological Psychology. 

"Women develop these anxiety disorders at approximately twice the rate that men do and we really don't have a good explanation for why that happens," says Felmingham.

Felmingham and her team "tested a biological hypothesis that could explain why women have a greater prevalence of anxiety disorders":

Previous research has found emotional memories, typically negative memories, are better recalled than neutral emotions, says Felmingham. 

And, the higher the arousal at the time the emotional memory is encoded dictates how well it is "consolidated" and remembered later. 

"Maybe women have greater arousal during encoding and that therefore leads to stronger emotional memory consolidations," says Felmingham.

The result:

"With that same level of arousal, women actually had greater memory consolidation than men," says Felmingham. 

Felmingham says it is not clear what specifically about the arousal that is affecting memory recall but the findings suggest a potential mechanism for the greater prevalence of anxiety disorders in women.

SCIENCE!

Writing YA Small Behaviors Add Up a little more on showing intense emotions

Last week I blogged about showing emotion through the pacing and organization of narration and characters' inner thoughts. This week, I've been reading the excellent Hold Still by Nina LaCour. It's about a girl grieving after her best friend's suicide. If you're looking for another example of thought disorganization as a demonstration of strong emotion, definitely check out this book. The first few pages in particular are beautifully instructive.

As I was reading this book, I noticed another technique the author uses to demonstrate the character's intense emotions:

Idiosyncratic behaviors.

Let me explain. Caitlin, the MC, begins the book with her response to the news of her best friend's death. And instead of saying, "OMG, I was so devastated," and screaming and crying, Caitlin does this:

But my hands are wild, they need to move, so I pick at a piece of the bench where the wood is splintering. I break a short nail on my right hand even shorter, but I manage to pull off a small piece of wood. I drop it into my cupped palm and pry off another ... My left hand is all the way full of wood now, and it's starting to spill over.

At another point, she does this:

I'm pulling the fake fur from the front seat covers even though I love them. I can't stop my fingers; white tufts are falling everywhere ... the backs of the seat covers are furless. My hand aches.

Whoa. Is this book about a kid with OCD? No! In these moments, the author is showing us just how deeply distressed Caitlin is by having her perform a seemingly purposeless, idiosyncratic behavior. Simple. Concrete. Fascinating. We're not being told Caitlin is crying/moping/sobbing/lamenting. We're being shown that there are things inside her, intense feelings, deep regrets, panic ... all screaming, growing, the pressure building up and ... it comes out in these behaviors. Something tangible. Something observable.

What I love about the way Ms. LeCour does this (there are many other wonderful examples in the book, in addition to it just being a great read) is that it's not expected. It's not stereotypical. It's not predictable. But, at the same time, it is BELIEVABLE.  And I understand. Without being told Caitlin is really, super-duper upset, I totally get it.

Because this is the way human beings actually behave. We don't always know or say exactly how we're feeling. Sometimes there are no words. Sometimes it's not the right time to talk. Sometimes there's so much there that we can't even scream and cry. Sometimes that's just not the type of person we are. But sometimes, those emotions find their way to the surface through our random behaviors.

We pick at things. We move our bodies/fingers/toes/tongues in funny ways. We engage in odd activities and rituals, like scrubbing the dishes clockwise or counting the ceiling tiles. We touch ourselves in ways of which we're not even conscious (hey now, calm down), like tugging at our earlobes or pinching ourselves or pressing our fingers against a hard surface until the tips turn white. No matter what those behaviors are, they can be outlet valves, a pressure release. Things that keep us from exploding or collapsing or becoming completely catatonic. As writers, we can use that understanding to create 3-D characters. And we can use those idiosyncratic behaviors to make those characters stick with the reader long after he/she reads the last page.

How about your characters? How do you SHOW their intense emotions? How do you get beyond the basics--just saying "she was devastated" or "tears poured down her face" or "her head/heart pounded with grief"--and get to something deeper ... and maybe more basic? More believable? More demonstrative? Unique? UNPUTDOWNABLE?