Oh heartless fate! The cart that I had so recently deemed a killer was actually a bereft mate. Which means (and the heart does quail) that the TRUE killer is still on the loose, somewhere in Mamaroneck. First I saw her seeking her lost life partner down by the river. She lurked near the Honda dealership in the rain.
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| The very picture of misery, the cart (wrongly framed by this unjust reporter) weeps hot tears in the unforgiving rain. |
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| I drew closer and tried attract her attention, but she spurned me. I thought I heard the whisper of "fie, fie upon you," as her wheels spun softly in the winter rain. |
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| But a day or so later, this is how it ended. Joining "Big Red" in the snow, its mate (I have named her Tawny Kitaen) commits shopping cart suicide. I watched as she fell over in the snow, her wheels spinning with a faint and plaintive "whirr." I tried tossing a few empties and candy wrappers at her to bring her back to life, but it was too late. |
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| Meanwhile, in town, madness ensues! The carts have been domesticated, and are now ordering Chinese food at Little Kitchen. The employee behind the counter is frantically calling 911, but you know how this ends, don't you? That's right, a bloodbath! If this cart doesn't get its order in quick time, it will rear up and crush all the fortune cookies within sight! |
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