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What fear looks like part 3

Another in a series of posts featuring images that somehow depict panic and anxiety. These are photos that can set my heart to racing before I've consciously realized what I'm looking at. Seriously.*








See any common themes?

* From an an article about neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux:

"Over the last decade or so, LeDoux and others have worked out this circuitry in lab rats step by step, each accreted detail sending a small ripple through the world of human psychology. His laboratory has been able to show that as soon as conditioned animals hear the tone that precedes a shock, the auditory information travels to a way station in the brain known as the sensory thalmus, an essential stop for any incoming information about the world, and then immediately continues on to the amygdala. In rats, a fear-inducing sound goes from the ear to the amygdala in 12 milliseconds - that is, 12 one-thousands of a second. Moreover, LeDoux says, cells in this corner of the amygdala, known as the lateral nucleus,"learn" and memorize the fearful stimulus with incredible rapidity and tenacity. The research suggests that all it takes is one terrifying experience to form a lifelong emotional memory, one that is extremely difficult to erase.

"While LeDoux's lab has concentrated on this downstairs circuit, the laboratory of Michael Davis, now at Emory University in Atlanta after 29 years at Yale, has sketched out what might be considered the high road in the processing of fear, one that may more closely mirror the routine processing of fearful information in humans. It passes from the sensory organs, like eyes and ears, and lingers in the cortex, where conscious memories are formed, before threading down to the amygdala. Davis has also tentatively identified a separate destination, called the bed nucleus of the stria terminalis, which is heavily connected to the amygdala and seems to control chronic states of fear like anxiety and worry.

"This may sound like a lot of dense neural cartography, but the significance for psychiatry, if the same dual circuitry pertains to humans, would be profound. It suggests that because there are two different neural routes to the amygdala, two different kinds of fear-related memory can form. Indeed, one of the provocative things about LeDoux's circuit is where it doesn't go. It doesn't go to the thinking part of the brain first. And what that implies - certainly in rats, and almost certainly in humans ... is that we experience, learn and unconsciously commit to emotional memory many fearful situations, without ever being aware of what has triggered the racing heart and quick pulse.

"One hallmark of a panic attack, for example, is that its victim cannot understand what has triggered such a powerful reaction. The implication of fear-conditioning experiments in animals is that we have a separate memory of a fearful stimulus, be it a bear or a dinner party, lodged in the amygdala, probably informed by things we have heard or seen but do not consciously remember. So it's as if we walk through the world half-blind, bumping into archival stimuli, things we never knew scared us, things that we can't consciously remember but that nevertheless set in motion inexplicable and disturbing sensations of dread. Freudian analysts who have followed the work of LeDoux and others have been quick to point out that neuroscience's version of unconscious fear, in the words of Dr. Jean Roiphe, a Manhattan analyst, "strongly corresponds with the Freudian notion that it's indelible and never goes away."

(Italics are mine.)

WHAT FEAR LOOKS LIKE, PART 1

WHAT FEAR LOOKS LIKE, PART 2

Anxiety Attacks Symptoms

Anxiety attacks symptoms can vary from person to person but I have listed the most common ones below:

• speeding heartbeat


• breathing too fast


• feeling sick to your stomach


• shaking or trembling


• pale face OR blushing


• racing thoughts

Many people also report having thoughts of catastrophe or even a suddenly blank mind.

Having an anxiety attack is something that can come on when you are in a situation where you feel unsure about what to do , or in a situation where you have previously had a traumatic experience.

My own anxiety attacks symptoms most noticeably involve my chest and abdominal region. I can feel my chest tighten and sometimes even experience mild chest pain.

The most pervasive sign of an anxiety attack for me is this feeling of cold dread deep in my stomach. And then my legs and arms start to shake. My legs will feel rubbery and cold and although they are perfectly functional they feel like I can't move them correctly.

Noticing anxiety attacks symptoms seems to make them worse, it is as though I am worried about something, then I start to feel worried about how anxious I am getting!

Actually even writing about it isn't so great!

Got to go -- talk to you later!

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Panic on the subway

This bit starts with the ER visit that came at the tail end of my first-ever panic attack, and ends with my second-ever panic attack:

-------------------

The ambulance deposited me in the emergency room at Stamford Hospital, where a nurse put me in a robe and ushered me behind a curtain. A doctor put a stethoscope to my chest, an EKG tech wired me up and recorded my heart’s electrical rhythms, and I was discharged with a clean bill of health. “There’s nothing wrong with your heart,” the doctor said.

Nothing wrong?

My parents had made the 90-minute drive to the hospital from their home on Long Island, and now they drove me back out onto the Connecticut Turnpike and to the McDonald’s parking lot where I’d left my car. There, my mother joined me in my Ford and my father continued on alone in his Cadillac. During the next 90 minutes, down through Westchester and the Bronx, over the Throgs Neck Bridge, and east to my parents’ home, I must have apologized 25 times for ruining our plans for their 25th anniversary celebration. We’d had a plan, and I’d fucked it up. That was the way I saw it. My mother, God bless her, assured and reassured me. “That you’re okay, that’s what’s really important.”

But I wasn’t okay. I didn’t realize it then, but today I can see, clearly, that I was in a state of shock, that I’d been through a trauma that, strange as it might seem, had had the same effect on me as if I’d been in a car wreck.

Back at home in the city, though, I carried on as though all was normal. 7:15 alarm. Shower, shave, choose a tie from the tie rack. “Good morning” to the doorman on the way outside. Join the herd streaming downstairs to the southbound 96th Street IRT platform. Exit at 59th Street, head west to Madison. Enter the GM Building, push onto the elevator to the 50th floor. Take off suit jacket, start the computer, scan the Wall Street Journal. “Hey, Mike, hey, Jane, good weekend?”

Monday at work began uneventfully. To a degree I was just going through the motions, but it wasn’t like I hadn’t done that before at work.

Things were still okay at the end of the workday. Downstairs I made my way east on 59th Street, remembering that just a few months back it would’ve been dark and cold at 5:30, glad for the lengthening days. As I joined the stream of commuters descending from street level to the subway platform, though, my mood shifted. There were too many people, too close to me. This was odd; I’d never found crowds particularly upsetting. In fact, some of my fondest memories involved times I’d been part of the power of crowds, one tiny drop in a tidal pull of energy: in the press of concertgoers immediately in front of the stage, for instance, or with my voice joined with those of tens of thousands of others at hockey and basketball games. I looked to the exit, considering just walking home, the thought defeated by the prospect of navigating the crowd to make my escape. At that moment a push of stale, warm air pushed over the platform from the tunnel to the south, and the train barreled into the station and screeched to a halt.

“Step lively! Watch the closing doors!”

I squeezed my way to the middle of the car, and as the train pulled out of the station, I felt a tiny flutter in my chest, and was immediately swept up in a flood of disturbing thoughts. What if it happens again? What if they were wrong, and there is something wrong with my heart?

The train jostled in the darkness of the tunnel, and I reached for the strap to steady myself. I told myself it wasn’t going to happen again, that I was fine, that I was just still shaken up from my experience the day before on the Connecticut Turnpike. But then I felt a sharp pain in my chest, and no amount of logic could’ve helped me avoid the wave of fear engulfing me suddenly. My heart jackhammered. My breath heaved. My legs felt weak, like they were about to give out. I stared at the advertisement above me for what must have been 10 seconds before realizing that it was one I’d laughed at a hundred times before (“Anal warts? Try LASERS!”), but if I’d opened my mouth in that moment it would have been not to laugh but to scream. This time, I knew, it was for real; I was having a heart attack. I was about to die.

Hardly realizing what I was doing, I made my way through the crowd toward the nearest doors, ignoring the annoyed expressions on the faces of those I was pushing past. Escape: that was my imperative, the thing I wanted with an urgency I’d never felt before. There was no question of taking this subway all the way to 96th Street, my stop. We pulled into 72nd Street, and I was off that train and up on the street in a matter of seconds.

The sidewalks were crowded, but nothing like the train had been, and I felt a great sense of relief, like I’d avoided a cataclysm. Like I’d escaped death. I caught my breath, then began walking uptown. I saw my reflection in the floor-to-ceiling windows of a bank branch. I looked completely normal. It seemed strange, to look normal after what I’d just been through.

Is Your Psychiatrist Paying Attention

In my post of 2/24/2010, Counting Symptoms that Don't Count, I discussed how many psychiatrists these days are taking huge shortcuts in order to squeeze as many patients into an hour as they possibly can. I described how they are focusing just on symptom counts without trying making the slightest effort to ascertain whether or not the symptoms in question are clinically significant for a particular diagnosis, or whether they might require psychotherapy rather than drug treatment.

As I have pointed out many times in this blog, in order to make such a determination, the doctor has to take into account the timing, pervasiveness, persistance, and subjective quality of a symptom. The psychiatrist has to know what other symptoms are present at the same time and at different times. Most importantly, the doctor has to know something about the psychosocial context of a symptom.

One of my partners reported a particular glaring example of what can happen when this is not done: A patient with no previous psychiatric history became depressed right after finding her husband in bed with another woman.  Her "depression" was characterized, not surprisingly, mostly by anger and preoccupation with the discovered affair.  Nevertheless, when she came to the attention of a psychiatrist, he diagnosed her with "major depressive disorder."  Really?  I mean, really???

Another time saving "convenience" is for the doctor to write down the information that the patient is relaying during an interview on the patient's chart, using either pen and paper or a computer, as the patients speaks. This not only saves time, but solves a second problem: Some insurance companies do not want to pay for a doctor's time unless it is spent face to face with the patient. Even time spend reviewing the patient's record and writing down all the information that insurance companies demand in order to pay the doctor is supposed to be donated, I guess. So instead of writing a progress note after the patient leaves, it is written with the patient still in the room!

So, aside from wasting the patient's time while the doctor does that, what's wrong with that?

Well, I'll tell you.  When a doctor is writing or typing away on a computer, his or her attention is split between doing that and observing the patient. Often a patient's body language or facial expression can give a doctor a clue that what the patient is saying may not be completely accurate or may not be the whole story, so that the doctor then needs to ask for clarification with follow-up questions. When the doctor is staring at a chart instead of the patient, that is probably just not going to happen.

Even more important, patients will often mutter vitally important information quickly and in passing, or even under their breath. This is particularly likely to happen if the information patients are relaying is troublesome to them in one way or another, such as reporting things they are ashamed of. If the doctor is not paying close attention, he or she will literally not hear it!

In my book, How Dysfunctional Families Spur Mental Disorders, I describe in detail a videotape of a psychiatry trainee doing a diagnostic interview in front of two senior faculty members in order to practice for her upcoming oral boards. In the videotape, a real patient was used. During the interview, the patient stated in passing that she had been repeatedly molested by a close relative. In fact, the matter even ended up in court. After the interview, the examiners both said that they "suspected" that a trauma history was "likely" in the patient.

There were three doctors in the room, all of them preoccupied with the trainee's performance.  All three of them either missed or forgot that abuse was not only likely, but had actually been mentioned!

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Woody Allen Mia Farrow Dylan Farrow and Soon Yi Previn Old Controversies about False Abuse Accusations Rekindled

Woody Allen wins the Golden Globe’s Cecil B. Demille Award for his life’s work from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, and an old family war is rekindled for all the public to see. Mia Farrow, Woody's ex girlfriend, criticized the award because of an old accusation that Woody Allen had molested his then seven year old daughter. Then the now 27 year old woman, Dylan Farrow, publishes her own open letter to the New York Times describing in detail what she alleges happened to her:

http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/01/an-open-letter-from-dylan-farrow/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0

Dylan Farrow

Her description is quite detailed and very much consistent with a lot of stories from abuse victims that I have heard over the years.  

I would first like to say unequivocally that the biggest problem in this country is not that false accusations of child abuse by those claiming to be incest victims are believed, but that the true ones are not. The best studies indicate that about 95% of such claims by adults turn out to be basically true, despite many specific details being recalled erroneously. It’s easy to confuse a blue shirt with a black one or a morning for an afternoon, for example, but one is not likely to get being raped mixed up with taking a trip to the supermarket.

But what about that other 5%? The false accusations? It used to be that overzealous therapists pressured their more suggestible patients into “admitting” to having been abused under the nonsensical premise than anyone suffering from one psychological disorder or another simply must have been abused. Well, a few malpractice suits later, that phenomenon seems to have abated.

The most common situation in which false accusations are made at present is during hotly-contested, super-nasty divorces with child custody being a bone of contention. Such false accusations are tied in with the phenomenon of parental alienation, in which one parent who maintains primary custody fills a child’s head with vicious lies and half-truths about the other parent. Parents who put their kids in the middle of their messy relationships like that are just as deserving of condemnation as a child abuser, because doing so is indeed a form of psychological child abuse.

Which is what makes the Woody Allen case so interesting. 

Before Miss Farrow had her most recent say, Oscar nominated and Emmy winning film director Robert B. Weidepublished a story that had some possibly damning information in it about the whole sordid mess.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/01/27/the-woody-allen-allegations-not-so-fast.html

Now, I am not claiming to know the truth in the case. Repeat, I am not claiming to know the truth about what may or may not have happened to Miss Farrow. I can only make some general comments about publically available information, which never tells the whole story. As to Mr. Weide’s article, IF IT IS ALL TRUE AND COMPLETE (I’ll be repeating a version of that phrase several times, since some readers will undoubtedly not catch it the first few times), I can point out that there are an awful lot of the most typical indicators of a false accusation absolutely aglow in this story, at least as reported by the author of the piece.

Still, this does not necessarily mean that the accusations are false, or that Mr. Allen (no relation) is telling the truth about being innocent. Repeat, nothing discussed in this post proves anything one way or the other.

If you want to know how children can be induced to tell adults whatever the adults want to hear, I recommend a movie calledIndictment: the McMartin Trial, about a preschool scandal in Southern California in the early 1980’s. The alleged abusers were all eventually exonerated, but not before overzealous social workers elicited highly detailed stories from the children that were believed in spite of there being absolutely no evidence that they ever occurred, and which defied credulity in the first place. Like a story of a class field trip to the set of a pornographic movie.

At the time of the original allegations made by Woody Allen’s girlfriend-at-the-time Mia Farrow, Woody was having an inappropriate affair with Mia’s adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn. Mia allegedly found out about the affair when she found naked pictures of her daughter taken by Woody. An affair with her own daughter!  (Soon-Yi was at least 19 at the time, and Woody Allen’s extent of “parental” involvement was taking the girl to the occasional basketball game, so it is not true that he was her stepfather. Mia and Woody did not live together, were never married, and Soon-Yi’s adopted father was Andre Previn).

So, as Mr. Weide points out, “It’s understandable that Mia would remain furious with Woody for the rest of her life.”  She would have reason to suspect Woody of the worst possible behavior.  Of course, she herself was an admitted cheater who apparently had more than one affair herself during her life. Maybe Woody was the one who got angry first. Who knows? The point is that there was a lot of anger involved in this break up, which makes this fertile ground for possibleparental alienation behavior on Mia’s part.

According to the article by Weide,

On August 4, 1992, almost four months after the revelation about Woody and Soon-Yi’s relationship understandably ignited a firestorm within the Farrow household, Woody was visiting Frog Hollow, the Farrow country home in Bridgewater, Connecticut, where Mia and several of her kids were staying. During an unsupervised moment, Woody allegedly took Dylan into the attic and, shall we say, “touched her inappropriately.” Later in the day, it was alleged that the child was wearing her sundress, but that her underpants were missing. The following day, Mia’s daughter allegedly told her mother what had happened, and Mia put the child’s recounting of the story on videotape as evidence... 

If Mia’s account is true, it means that in the middle of custody and support negotiations, during which Woody needed to be on his best behavior, in a house belonging to his furious ex-girlfriend, and filled with people seething mad at him, Woody, who is a well-known claustrophobic, decided this would be the ideal time and place to take his daughter into an attic and molest her, quickly, before a house full of children and nannies noticed they were both missing...

As for the evidentiary videotape of young Dylan’s claims, it’s been noted that there were several starts and stops in the recording, essentially creating in-camera “edits” to the young girl’s commentary. This raises questions as to what was happening when the tape wasn’t running. Was Mia “coaching” her daughter off-camera, as suggested by the investigators? Mia says no—she merely turned the camera on whenever Dylan starting talking about what Daddy did. Maybe we should take Mia at her word on this. Since I wasn’t there, I think it’s good policy not to presume what took place...

A New York Times article dated March 26, 1993, quotes from Mia’s own testimony, during which she recalled taking the child to a doctor on the same day as the alleged incident. Farrow recalled, “I think (Dylan) said (Allen) touched her, but when asked where, she just looked around and went like this,” at which point Mia patted her shoulders. Farrow recalls she took Dylan to another doctor, four days later. On the stand, Allen’s attorney asked Mia about the second doctor’s findings: “There was no evidence of injury to the anal or vaginal area, is that correct?” Farrow answered, “Yes.”...

Former nanny Monica Thompson (whose salary was paid by Allen, since three of the brood were also his) swore in a deposition to Allen’s attorneys that she was pressured by Farrow to support the molestation charges, and the pressure led her to resign her position. Thompson had this to say about the videotape: ““I know that the tape was made over the course of at least two and perhaps three days. I recall Ms. Farrow saying to Dylan at that time, ‘Dylan, what did daddy do… and what did he do next?’ Dylan appeared not to be interested, and Ms. Farrow would stop taping for a while and then continue.”...

Dr. John Leventhal further swears Dylan’s statements at the hospital contradicted each other as well as the story she told on the videotape. “Those were not minor inconsistencies. She told us initially that she hadn’t been touched in the vaginal area, and she then told us that she had, then she told us that she hadn’t.” He also said the child’s accounts had “a rehearsed quality.” At one point, she told him, “I like to cheat on my stories.”

And then there was this quote from Moses Farrow - Dylan's brother, also adopted, and now a 36-year-old family therapist: "My mother drummed it into me to hate my father for tearing apart the family and sexually molesting my sister," Moses Farrow, 36, told People Magazine. "And I hated him for her for years. I see now that this was a vengeful way to pay him back for falling in love with Soon-Yi." He added, "Pleasing my mother was very powerful motivation [for Dylan] because to be on her wrong side was horrible." 

Dylan called her brother's statement a betrayal.

It’s also interesting that Mia Farrow’s brother, John Charles Villiers-Farrow, has been convicted of multiple counts of child molestation. Mia may have exposed her children to him, so maybe there is a perp that is not Woody.

These observations, if true and complete, raise some serious questions about whether Dylan might be being loyal to her mother by repeating her not-really-true story in the press after her mother brought the subject back to public attention after the Golden Globes.

So, after reading this, anyone who thinks that Dylan’s accusation simply must be true or simply must be false is either highly defensive, blinded by anger, or a simpleton. No offense.

As someone who has studied dysfunctional families for almost 40 years, and who specializes in helping adults who were abused by attachment figures as children successfully confront their abusers, I want to add a few more random random thoughts about the case:    

1.  While reporting ongoing child abuse to the police and prosecuting the perp to the full extent of the law is absolutely essential, airing dirty laundry in public this long after the fact is almost always counterproductive for the victim. Victims may think they would feel a lot better if they get either revenge or just plain old justice for the perpetrator, and they may for a short time. But they are still left with a gaping hole in their soul where their family should be, and they often still have great difficulty self actualizing, or successfully charting their own course in life. As my readers know, I recommend that my patients work with me to discover ways to get past their family member’s formidable defenses and confront the issues involved head on.

2.  There's ALWAYS more to the story that abuse victims and other family members tell people about - even people who know them very well, let alone strangers or the public. Sometimes my patients leave out essentials of their experiences for MONTHS into therapy.

Victims of child abuse are much more likely to hide their parent's behavior than they are to exaggerate it.  

3.  That Dylan Farrow came from a highly dysfunctional background that harmed her seems to be a near certainty, but the details that we know about this case raise a lot more questions than they answer about what actually happened. 

Events in a family can be lied about out of loyalty by one family member to another. I would certainly want to ask about Dylan's relationship with her mother. If Dylan was abused, that means that Mia failed to protect her daughter in this case. Many abuse victims are more angry with the non-protective parent than with the abuser!  Sometimes that anger is covered up. In a reaction formation, the person obsessively loves and/or idolizes the person she's really furious with.  (Not saying it's true, but if Mia coached Dylan and pressured her to make the accusation, this could create a LOT of interesting scenarios).

That some of the Mia's children are angry with her seems likely. As I mentioned earlier, it was reported that Mia found out about Woody's relationship with Soon Yi by finding nude pictures of her around the house, taken by Woody. If this is true, why would Soon Yi, who was an adult at the time, have a sexual relationship with her own mother's boyfriend and then conveniently leave evidence about it lying around the house for Mom to find? (Did she leave it around accidentally? Bullshit). If this is true, then to surmise that Soon Yi is really pissed with her mother is probably a safe bet. Whyis she so angry? That would be an interesting story.

I also find it fascinating that Soon Yi seems to get a free pass on her relationship with Woody – she married him and adopted children with him and they are still together - from all the people who are absolutely certain that Woody is a pedophile.

We also know by her own admission and a pregnancy that there was cheating in Mia's past, and families in which infidelity is the norm create a lot of chaos for children. Certainly child sexual abuse could also be present, but it would just as certainly not be required for this "family" to be severely dysfunctional.

Why Dont They Tell

One of the things that child abuse deniers like the False Memory Syndrome Foundation focus on, besides Elizabeth Loftus's irrelevant arguments about the unreliability of memory, is the fact that many adults who claim to have been victims of incest as children did not tell any other adults about it at the time the alleged incidents took place. 

John and Mackenzie Phillips

Some children do tell.  So why wouldn't the others?

A whole bunch of logical explanations have been advanced to explain why not. In an article in the December 2010 issue of Psychiatric Times, Richard Kluft lists several of them:  incomprehension, shame, fear of retaliation, and the misperception that the child is to blame.  He also mentions loyalty conflicts, but more on that in a little bit.

The statistics listed in this article, as unreliable as they may be, say that only 30% of incest victims reveal their situations, and most of the revealers are the older children and adolescents.  In almost half of these, the revelation is accidental.  Some who do reveal suffer negative consequences, such as being blamed for "seducing" the perpetrator or being accused of lying. One study showed that 52% of those who reported mistreatment to a parent were still being abused a year after the disclosure.

Many perpetrators do threaten the victim that if he or she tells, they might kill someone in the family.  Sometimes they say that the authorities will come in and break up the family - not an unlikely scenario if the child is believed and the parent who is told actually reports the perpetrator.  Other victims are told that no one will believe them.

All good explanations for why the children remain silent.  However, I think that the reason that is talked about the least may be the most important of all:  family loyalty.  Family loyalty as a major determinant of human behavior was focussed on in psychotherapy most notably by family systems pioneer Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy.  It is also highly consistent with the biological evolutionary concept of kin selection.

Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy



The strength of family loyalty was illustrated by a patient I saw who had been raised by a female relative rather than by her mother because the mother was a deadbeat parent.  In an initial interview, the patient impulsively blurted out, for the very first time in her life, that the husband of this female relative had continuously molested her.  She immediately burst into tears and could not stop crying for many minutes.

One might assume that memories of the abuse had come flooding back to her and that this was the reason for the emotional breakdown, but as it turned out, that was not it at all.  The woman kept repeating, "I can't believe I told someone!  I can't believe I told someone!"  

After I calmed her down by swearing by all that was dear to me that the session was confidential and no one outside the room would ever have to know what she had revealed, she admitted that her biggest fear was that the woman who raised her would be irreparably hurt by the revelation that her husband had done what he had done.  The patient could not bare the thought that this was what might happen.  She owed the woman just too much.

As Boszormenyi-Nagy stated in his 1986 book, Between Give and Take: A Clinical Guide to Contextual Therapy, "Even very small children are sensitive barometers; they know when their parents are overburdened with anxiety, guilt and mistrust.  Moreover, they want to do something about it." (p.35).  If important relatives are dependent in some way on the perpetrator, children are naturally reluctant to create problems for those relationships.

Many victims of incest dissociate, or zone out, when memories of the abuse surface.  Most therapists assume that this takes place because the incest survivor is trying to avoid the pain associated with the memory.  Undoubtedly this has something to do with it.  However, I find that a much more important consideration with my patients is that they are following a family rule, and do not want to break it out of family loyalty.

When the abuse happened, they were told by the perpetrator in so many words, "This never happened."  When the survivor starts to think about the fact that the incest did indeed happen, they dissociate so that the memories begin to either take on an unreal quality or seem to disappear altogether.   Dissociating may be a way of preventing the sort of accidental revelation to others that took place as described with my patient above.

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Hot Buttered Blog New Blog Awards!

 I’ve just been graced with another blog award from my pal Cherie, whose blog you should visit and gift with many wise and kind comments. She keeps a very chic and stylish blog, which she buffs and oils daily so that its pelt stays glossy. Thank you, Cherie!

This blog award appears to be in flames, so I was a little bit scared at first. But then I embraced it, and also doused it with a big hose. It doesn’t look quite as perky as it did before. But it’s much less menacing.

This award comes with one rule: Pay it forward. Wait for it! It's at the end of this entry.
Get out your fire extinguishers NOW, mofos!

I decided that I, too, could make some nice blog awards. And I could hand them out like unwanted fruitcakes at a bad holiday party! I cannot decide which award I shall start to foist upon my friends, who will quickly block me, spit on the ground when I pass, and write my name on tiny scraps of paper and toss them into a bewitched urn so that my goats' milk gets blighted and sour. Anyway, perhaps you'll vote?

Everything tastes good bathed in hot butter. Your blog tastes good, too. I want to dip my crawdaddy right into it! That sounded dirty but I didn't mean it that way. I like hot butter. It would taste good even on a brick, or maybe on a small turd.

Goll Damn, it has so many heads. And they are all staring at me! If you get this award, your blog has hooves, multiple eyes, and rocks the Kasbah six ways till Sunday. You are specialness incarnate.

I just don't know who to give this award to...eeny, meenie, miney, mo. No takers? Hey, if anyone wants this award, you can have it for free. No bribes this time. No secret $ envelope exchange, no PayPal. Just take it. Take it! Get it out of my sight, for it sickens me!

When I went to your blog expecting witty and erudite commentary, it unleashed four bacon slices into my waiting hands. I tried again, tapping at my screen, and then it fired the bacon out at my eyeballs. My eyeballs and mouth were instantly erased. This is not what I was expecting. However, I am still very fond of you and find you amusing.

And now the winners of the Blog on Fire Award. I picked them because they are rather fun and fiery, and are presumed to have fire extinguishers. Some of them are new(ish) to me but I am quickly growing fond of them all! I hope you enjoy their blogs and give them some followin' love.

Thirty-Nine and Holding

Robin Weeks

EEV

Lesser Apricots

On the Edge of My Couch

Slushy, Mushy Me